playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
