I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
