sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
