Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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