yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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