Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
