But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
