Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
