maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
