Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Randomize
