I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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