Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I am available for nakedness
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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