I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
