I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
