Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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