Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
