Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
