Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
