well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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