I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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