You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
