they need to just BURY HIM!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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