I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
