Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I can't trust your balls anymore.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
