I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
