sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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