I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
