At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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