He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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