Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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