He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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