Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
