4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
