Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
