grandma shit on top of the toilet
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
