Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
