Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
