I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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