Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
