Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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