I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
