Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
