Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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