And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
only you would photoshop your dick
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
