She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
