i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
My bed smells like the plague
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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