i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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