I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
