What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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