Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
