I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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